Update

It's permanent.

My promotion at the Fizz Factory depended upon my manager being able to progress himself. The Australian head office thought that it was all systems go. Unfortunately, the international head office reviewed the YTD and projected figures, and decided that there were to be no promotions, and additionally, a staff member was to be cut. I had been there the least amount of time, thus, I am unemployed.

It would have been very easy to point out that there are people within the company who contributed less, have a far lower work ethic, and whose lives would be far less impacted by such an awful decision. But I was determined to leave with dignity, and so thanked them for their honesty, offered sympathy for the uncomfortable position they were in, and expressed my hopes that this would result in future success for those remaining with the company.
That doesn't mean I didn't cry, but I think that as a young woman who had just been ejected from a life of promise and security, I deserved that luxury.

The redundancy is meant to commence on new year's eve (happy new year!), however they thought it best, thank goodness, that I be allowed to leave immediately. I collected my possessions, said quick, quiet goodbyes to those I had counted as friends, they organised a taxi, and I was homeward bound at 11am.

My boss hugged me several times before I left, and he tried repeatedly to explain. However I understand completely - I generated the reports, I saw the issues, but the optimist in me hoped for an upturn. He has promised me a written reference, and has made himself available by phone as well.

Though I am assured it has nothing to do with me or my abilities, I can't help but feel diminished by the event. I'd recently become so grateful for where I was in life, what I'd left behind, and where I was going, I was starting to shed a bit of my trademark cynicism, becoming more confident and optimistic. I should have known that I was due some trauma.

I will be fine, financially, for three months, more if we are frugal. I refuse to touch my savings, and hope to be employed soon enough that this may contribute to them. I will allow myself the rest of the week to relax, accept, and heal. Then we go into major job hunting mode. During which I may undertake some volunteer work to stop myself from rattling around the house. If I've not secured a suitable position by the end of the third month, we will revert to desperado plan B - temping.

At the very least, this is giving me a lot of time to do some serious working out - and so I shall. The house is already sparkling from my afternoon of frenzied cleaning, and I am looking forward to striking a great deal of items from my mental to-do list. I am determined to emerge from this a stonger, wiser person.

Thanks to those who've offerered consolation, it really means so much to me. I'll still be here, still be trying to lose a kilo or two, and I'm sure the coming months will provide lots of blogging material!

Kisses...

(Oh, I should point out that I've been using pseudonyms for the companies I've worked for - please don't bombard any companies unlucky enough to be called Fabcorp or Fizz Factory with hate mail, I'm sure their products are lovely!)